We Wont Need Legs to Stand

I awoke at 3;49 this morning, wondering what happened during my little sleep. I crept downstairs to find the remains of my ping pong table strewn across the garage floor, garbage and beer and cigarette butts decorating the mess. Stef and Justine were snoring in Bea's bed, my mom was still waiting up for her. The right side of my head was aching, and giving me flashes of the party in random order. Hailee Brunette's hollering, sitting in Emerenczs car with my head in Michaels lap, bumming smokes from Kim, Levi Gilmers hands around my waist and the tight confusion in my stomach. I drank two big glasses of cold water, brushed my teeth and slumped back into my bed. Later today (noon) we hosed down the garage and cleaned it all out, I was so glad we kept the party in there and didnt let it trickle into the basement. Of the 50+ kids that showed up, thankfully only two of them puked on the lawn. I was glad for who was there, and who wasnt there. I was also happy to get an indigo gift card from Kimberly, she alone brought us gifts. The money Sonia gave me was not enough to excuse her bitchiness all night. I hate that woman. Today, all I want to do is shower, put on clean clothes, fill my empty belly with good food and water, and watch the oscars / eat popcorn with Levi. Thank you everyone who hugged and laughed with me last night, it was everything I hoped for. I love the people in my close circle, you keep me floating above everything wrong in my life.

All the feelings of doubt and insecurity I have been hiding deep in the folds of my brain are slowly sinking, dissolving, I feel safety and home with you.