Last night was my winter formal. My last winter formal. I had more fun getting ready than I did at the actual event, a crowded dance floor of 15-17 year olds rocking out to the top 40s. Didn't take my heels off all night though, and for that I am proud. Today my little feet were achy and tender, and did not like being squeezed into the odd shoes I am forced to wear for rock climbing in gym.
I'm in a strange new place, questioning everything I've ever known. I feel like I'm walking in the dark, hands stretched out, hoping for a hand to hold or an answer to everything. I know I'll make mistakes, to figure it all out, but I'm still so scared. There's still so much about myself I don't know, I wish I had it all in a file for reference. Or at least some hints on how to deal with this.
The silver lining reads; my ability to communicate my needs and struggles to my mother are a little better. There's always something. Everything I've ever gone through had a positive product, no matter the size or significance. I'll be stronger after this, no matter the outcome.
These days, Laura Marling sings me to sleep.
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