Dont Let the Sun Go Down on Your Grievance

Yesterday, I learned that my 6th grade music teacher died from the breast cancer that plagued her for years. It was strange, depressing news that grabbed me by the shoulders and shook. Everybody leaves. Later, my physics teacher would bring up the fact that we will all be putting our parents into old-age homes some day. That was some nauseating deja vu. I do not want to see my parents get old. I do not want to watch them struggle. I do not want to watch them die. I do not want I do not want.

But, today, I gave Jane a CD. I don't ever call my spanish teacher 'Jane' to her face. But that's her name so that's what I called her playlist. She smiled. I love all our talks at the end of class / during some free time. She respects me, and is most definitely my favorite teacher. She has a labrador named Rider who is extremely well trained. When he gets lonely, he takes clothes out of her closet and lies on her bed with them all around him. I always come see her in the morning and we change her calendar to the new shoe of the day, and rate it. She and I get along because I am an older soul than the kids in my grade (minus a few) and she will always be a teenager underneath.

If anyone has the time/patience to teach me all the wonders of Photoshop, I would love to learn. I want to one day know everything about photography. I really think I could do that for a living and love it. I also really think I could be good at it. I am also very scared that I wont make the cut, but that feeling hasnt left me since grade 9. Thats just what my school did to me. But things at school are better now. Carter and Lauren are still the same, and will always be that way, but I love them.

I have not blogged in what feels like weeks, and for this I am sorry (that is if you like my blogs).

I cannot wait for this weekend. A roadtrip to Edmonton with the best people in the world is exactly what I need. We'll just drive, blaze, drive, blaze, shop, find a motel, get wasted, blaze, talk all night, blaze, sleep eventually, drive back.

Watched 'The Devil and Daniel Johnston' the other day, i am a very lucky girl to have experienced that. Thank you Emmy Lou for showing me, it's really amazing. P.S. I love you. You seem very happy lately which makes me happy.